Living in an incredibly unique house, part 1

I live in an incredibly unique house. I've lived here for about 11 years and thinking back, this house has always been very unusual.

A peculiar thing about it, is that this house was fairly cheap. It was in fairly bad condition, and very old. Now, the house is in an even worse condition, as we haven't really been taking care of it. In addition, the house as been painted, and part of a stairway replaced, so it doesn't look that great now. I've taken several photos, but there are no photos of its former glory...

The house is two stories high. This is very unusual, as all the other houses are only one story high. On one side (left, if you look towards the house), the one storey house is as high as ours. We are located on a small hill. On the other side is a straight drop, as if the dirt was lifted away by a bulldozer.

The house is built around a fairy large natural rock. Most of the left side is just natural rock. The steps leading up to the verandah was formerly stone. A very colourful variety of natural rocks and spare bricks made up the steps. They are now removed and ugly grey cement, and dull tiles replace it.

The right exterior consists of earth. Numerous vertical planks and bricks are placed to create steps, and to stop the earth from sinking. However, a fair amount has now sunk, and the bricks are no longer close together, and horizontal. I feel uneasy walking on them. Many plants grow on these steps.

The front wall of the house is made of a strange brick. It is dark, and very rough. It was as if it were sandstone, roughly chipped from the ground. The side walls are from normal, light brown, clay brick. The guttering and roof was green. Now, the brick walls are painted white, and the guttering changed to blue. It is now even more visually distinct.

The driveway is fairly steep, made of gravel. It is a steep curve, and every time the car drives down I hear a quick screech of metal.

The backyard was likely the location of a great garden. A finely made raised cement platform takes up an entire corner, with large colourful rocks making up it's walls. Peculiar designed cement bricks cover the border. It is now littered with discarded junk. A normal brick platform adjacent to it, was originally covered with weeds. There are many potted plants around here.

The verandah's fencing is thick, latticed timber. I do not know if it was originally there or moved from our former house, but there is a rusted, latticed metal table out here.

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A truth that I don't think anyone wants to think of

I don't really know what to do for Blog Action Day. What can I write? You could say that I'm a young, inexperienced kid. I can't give advice, and there are many other people who could do a better job than me. Right now, I can't write anything beyond my personal experiences and thoughts on this theme.

Well then, lets follow my train of thought.

The word "environment" covers alot of things. Basically, it covers pretty much anything in the natural world and its state.

Let me start on the subject of oil and fossil fuels. I get the feeling that people have been focused on oil long enough to not notice what revolves around it. Basically, if we run out of this natural resource, the world as we know it will change forever. Oil is at the center of almost everything.

Why? We are incredibly dependant on it. Likely, everything that's around you at this very moment, involved the use of Oil to bring to you. Every single bit of plastic derives from crude oil. Plastic is everywhere. The screen you're reading this from, almost all packaging materials, knife handles, pens, coat hangers, even your clothing and shoes. The reason bottled water is expensive is because it's in a bottle. Not only that, but just transporting something requires harnessing energy from something derived from crude oil. If and when sources of crude oil begin to run low, everything will cost more, because it costs more to make and to bring to you.

How do we stop this inevitable disaster? Well, we can't. We can't simply get up one day and stop using oil, because we're so dependant on it. But we can slow it down by consuming less. Some people are already working towards that.

Oil is only one part of a bigger picture. Many people don't really see or look at the bigger picture. It's probably because people don't want to accept something so grim.


In a single sentence, I can tell you how to save the environment. "Consume less of everything."

That's basically it. As living things, we must consume resources to survive. The problem is that we're consuming far too much, which isn't healthy for the world.

But, oil isn't the only natural resource we're dependant on, though I think it's the most prominent in media. We're nearing the limit of many other resources. With the invention of machines, we can do things faster. But as a result, we consume much faster.

We drink up all the water, we eat plants and animals after growing them in farms, and take up room on the earth. As our population grows, we take up more room for living spaces, and for farms. We consume more and more.

The environment is in trouble because of us. We made it like this. Not only because of our reckless, unmoderated ways of consumption, but also because there's simply too many of us. The "One Child per Family" concept in China is a terrific way to reduce our population slowly, but many people hate it. Why?

It's because we're human. We're naturally selfish. We all want to have a place on this rock with our family, but pretty soon there won't be any more places.

How can we stop being so selfish? I don't really know.
How can we reduce our population in a way that satisfies everyone? We can't. We have to do something, and follow it. It's impossible to satisfy everyone.

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Blog Action Day

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Blog Action Day is on Monday, October 15th, less than a week from now. It was proposed two months ago, and blog listings began at that time, also. I signed up a few days after that. The above picture is the result of a "blogger personality quiz of sorts", and although some answers did not exactly apply to me, I did it to the best of my ability, and that's my result. I think many, many people will get this same result, but I'm not really sure. I haven't really done much on this two year old blog. Blog Action Day is going to be my first attempt at really participating in the "blogosphere".

I really hope that I'll be more active in the many projects I'm trying to get into. Maybe in the future, this blog will get bigger. I'm going to feel a bit flustered when I begin writing for Monday..

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A financial worst case scenario, with the works

I'm in a worst case scenario, financially, and perhaps in everything else. That, or I'm pessimistic. Maybe both. This is my story of an extremely bad situation, which starts over 25 years ago...

Actually, it encompasses much more than finance. This is basically half of my life story.

Before placing it here, I emailed this story to Trent, from The Simple Dollar. He also responded on his blog. This version has a few additional details as a result.

My scenario isn't limited to just myself, but my whole family.

My parents are immigrants/refugees from Vietnam. When they arrived here in Australia, they both took jobs and lived an extremely frugal lifestyle, sending all savings to my mother's side of the family, who still remained in Vietnam. Before butchers realised that some people actually eat stuff other people may discard, they sold these "scraps" for an extremely low cost. So, they lived on broths and stews made from stuff like chicken feet. (Instant ramen was probably more expensive at the time.)

This was in the 1980's. My sister was born in the early 80's, my brother, late 80's.

In 1990, I was born, and my mother's side of the family immigrated to here shortly before my birth. Upon my brother's birth and mine, my mother left work to take care of us.

Throughout my younger life, this is pretty much all the detail I knew about my family's time before my birth, chicken feet and all.

Before my enlightenment on finance, I didn't think about it much, but for most of my life you could say that I was spoilt. It was done for my benefit, so I could get a good education. Both of my parents didn't get very far in school.

We still only have one source of income, and that's my father. My sister moved out, and my brother and I do not have jobs, as well as my mother.

We always had and we still get a fair amount of stuff. Several computers, game consoles, many games and DVDs, 5 or 6 TVs, 3 surround sound systems and several DVD players, double beds.. it just goes on. And it's been going for probably over 12 years. All on credit cards. We took out another home loan to paint the house. (I objected to this, due to money, and this house containing a few unique properties..)

My dad repairs extra cars on the weekend for some extra cash, which is spent on food. After living a poor childhood and super-frugal life in a new country full of opportunity, who can blame him?

My mother's side of the family aren't very good with finance, either. After they immigrated here, they never helped us, and they still occasionally ask for money. (we always refuse.) They're not exactly good at finance either. They took out a home loan and threw the money around. We clearly sponsored the wrong side of the family to move over.

I'm about to finish/fail Year 12, and hit with depression. I'm currently not trying to find a job, nor am I interested. I'm not sure on which path of education to follow.. I have tons of dreams I wish to fufill, but it all conflicts with the financial situation, so I sit here confused and lost, going nowhere. I'm quite sensitive to discouragement, so I have discarded a fair number of pursuits.

Next year, this should all ease up a little, when my mother takes up a job and if my sister moves back in. But where does that leave me? How do I save everyone?

You could say most of my family is stubborn, and I am as well, in some areas. I don't want to live an empty life, and have an empty job. But there is a great amount of weight, pushing me down. I feel helpless. My mother won't use any money if I send any to them, which makes me worry somewhat..

I'm pretty much stuck between selfish desires and selfless ones. Go to school and do something my parents never got, or go by myself and follow my dreams. I need to help earn money to help my parents, but I have to go to school for the same reason, and then my personal feelings and beliefs get in the way.
I just want to get away from it all for a while, but I can't, I try to look at other paths but the arrows all point to the exact same one. roughly ten years of emptiness, earning money and repaying debts..

It's all so confusing. I can't leave one alone, but I can't get it all.

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Loyalty, acting noble

One time, in an IRC chatroom, someone called me noble. It was after I explained my reason for doing something: simply because I wanted to help. Now, I don't know whether I'm being humble or telling the truth, but that word's a little strong for me. Though it does describe me well enough in a single word.

At this very moment, just like many times before, I am sitting here, late at night, waiting for something. A response.

I am on Wikipedia, waiting for a fellow editor's reply.

I've been in a number of discussions over the years, and occasionally I can't pull myself away from the seat, as an important discussion is occuring. At least, I consider it important. I feel quite concerned whenever there is a possibility of conflict, or one that is occuring. After all, we can't work on something so significant if we can't get along. This is loyalty. I'm always there, often available, willing to give a hand, and/or stop the ones that are clenched into a fist.

Honourable qualities. Perhaps growing more rare as time goes on. It was only one time, by some person whose screen name I cannot remember, but that word, "noble", could very well describe me. Did I deserve it?

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Finding myself

Not being sure what to do, how and why, I have to take the journey of self discovery. I think everyone encounters this stage, at a certain point in their lives. I've always been thinking, and not acting, wondering why not.

I come across a number of blogs, many I find value in. There's The Simple Dollar, with money tips, Steve Olson's blog, for those pursuing freedom. And there's Living in my own World, which appears to be written by a person who follows the New Age. The most recent would be Success from the Nest. I'm only on the tip of the iceberg, there are so many more blogs I have yet to find and read. And I haven't left many messages yet.

But talking about the now.

For a while, (maybe a year, maybe less, I don't keep track,) I knew that we have to be more open with ourselves. Alot of people are afraid of speaking about themselves, but to understand each other we have to do it. I'm slowly becoming more confident, every time I speak (or write).

I read most of the Soul Searching tag from Success from the Nest, as this is what I need to read right now. Many are helpful, but a few stuck out.

Looking at the third one.

All of us have a unique ability. Maybe a few, maybe one, but there's always something, somewhere. However, because it feels natural to us, we don't notice it. For some time I've wanted to ask people how they saw me. What am I like in their eyes?

After reading it, I decided to move forward. I'll go up to a fair number of my good friends, and ask them: What is my most distinct, unique quality?

It's an unusual question, I'll admit. A rare, simple, yet deep question that may leave a lasting impression. No one really likes talking about themselves, and I feel that being able to go one step further and ask other people about yourself, takes great courage.

I've asked a few people already, and I'll list the (paraphrased) responses here. They are in the order of people who I think know the least about me, to the most:

1. My face, voice, and the way I speak. I appear smart. (This is the first impression I get from almost everyone.)
2. My hairstyle.
   
3. Being here. I'm always there at the same place, even when no one else is. (The person didn't appear serious though.. but it's still true)
4. Doing most of and completing the work on the final night before, and obtaining a higher grade than her, where she worked for two weeks.
5. Communicating. I don't hesitate to speak my mind.
6. "the fact that nothing makes you lose your cool, every time i see you your always composed and calm, its quite impressive"
7. The ability to speak truth, and what needs to be said, even with the knowledge of whether they like it or not.
8. My personality, described as somewhat cynical, somewhat realistic, like the Shrew from The Taming of the Shrew. (her interpretation of the Shrew is a bit different and milder from the actual meaning)

4 out of 12 people have answered that they don't know.

I'll add more as time goes on.
As soon as I feel that I've spoken to enough people, I'll continue this line of posting.

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Possible sources of my depressed mood

Depression. wow. I'm pretty sure in an early post I posted about how common it is among teenagers and such. I don't really look at my older posts though.. I think it's probably a good idea to write down the likely sources of my depressed mood, for better access. After all, part of the reason I made this blog was to write down my thoughts and share them, even if not many people are reading it.

The feeling of emptiness can result from depression or vice versa. I feel that they are closely linked and may even overlap.

Onto the list. It's quite long and probably has a fair bit of rambling.

The general feeling of mistrust towards my brother. For around two years I have been frequently frustrated at the state of our internet connection. Basically, there is a specified download quota for a package, and when it goes over the limit, the connection speed is severely cut down. Most of the consumption is usually from my brother. Recently (as in, about 4-5 months) I had doubled the quota, and our consumption had been mostly satisfied, but still was not sufficient. I had then decided to triple the quota on the following month, and in an unfortunate series of events, the limit was broken in around 4 days. Shortly before a holiday, where I would be consuming much more. All my holiday plans were subsequently discarded. This being the second time I discarded my holiday plans for the same reason, I was quite frustrated.

In a similar case, I am annoyed by the fact that a very noticable fingerprint is left on my Nintendo DS after my brother returns it to me, while in the meantime he expresses no knowledge of ever touching the screen.


Early in the production of my school's bi-annual musical I had noticed a generally low morale among the younger students, and expressed my concerns to the ever loved and lenient Director. The more experienced students had noticed it as well. As a result I was given a leadership role in the production("Chorus Captain"), but through the months I was mostly unsuccessful in morale. I made a number of seemingly successful attempts, and the climax of these events occured on the days before showtime.

Most, if not all teachers involved likely noticed, and was affected by the low morale. I, being the person who was in a role very similar to the teachers, felt it too. Rare things occured on those final days. The most rarest would be the ever lenient, fun, and loved director, getting angry. It was caused by my fellow chorus captain being reduced to tears on the first night of the performance, by this low morale. In contrast, our performances were performed relatively well.

There was also a large amount of thievery, mainly due to most cast members not securing their goods, despite many reminders.


Stemming from both of these there's a general feeling that people don't really listen to the things I have to say. My constant reminders fall upon deaf ears. The constant repeating of myself is quite annoying.


Rejection by people I have been attracted to may contribute, though I've gotten over that. I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship, and was merely interested in just confessing, though it still feels a bit painful. I posted about it before.


The occasional feeling of loneliness. It's probable it stems from the feeling of being ignored. I also lack much of a social life, but I'm not outgoing in the first place. It's possible that this is why I'm so fond of co-op play in video games, and parties in MMORPGs.

I feel that I have yet to find an ability I exceed at. I always seem to be outmatched by someone, lowering my morale. My brother always seems to defeat me almost all the time in games.

On the contrary, the general impression among people is that I'm smart. It might be true, who knows. I have destroyed that impression in a number of people mainly due to me openly demonstrating the fact that I am not really working very hard on things, and I feel quite bored at school. I've been working less and less as time goes on, so that appearance has been growing more dim. This reminds me of my high ability in sewing, when I was taking that subject for a term. I enjoyed it a fair bit as well, unlike some other male students. I think I have a fair bit of dexterity, and something such as sewing would use it to a great extent.


I've expressed great interest in The Arts but none of my subjects are related to it. My inability to change to subjects related to this is quite disappointing, but it is a fair bit too late. I've been plagued with poor subject choice for the past 3 years.

In grade 10 I had abandoned my most favourite subjects, Japanese and Drama, to try out digital design(DDS), and an advanced subject that would cover higher level maths and sciences(AMS). DDS felt quite lacking in experience, as it was mostly self study, while for AMS I had gotten a very terrible teacher.

Still straying away from my much loved Japanese and Drama, I chose many maths and science subjects for Years 11/12. I had the terrible teacher again, while for the most important math subject, my teacher kept arriving late and we changed teachers often, so there was alot of instability. In the following year (this year) that was all fixed, though in the first term it was still a little jumpy. But I had already lost most of my morale.

I had attempted changing AMS to something else but was told that there were no open places in other subjects, so I was left with the impression that it was difficult to change subjects, so I never tried in the following years.

Just copying from my earlier post:
Every other year there's this trip my school holds and it's basically a two week trip around Japan. We see places, enter a school and see their processes. On each even year it's the other way around. Their school students coming here. Mainly it's for students learning the Japanese language. I had a chance three years ago but somehow never got to it. Something about my age and money being the root cause of not going. "Maybe when I'm older", I think. I didn't even bother signing up last year because I was under the impression that I had to study Japanese, but I found out a friend went nonetheless. I felt very bitter. I missed out on not one, but two chances of going with maybe only a dozen other classmates on a fun, unique experience. It would feel very different if I went independantly, or even next year if I end up repeating.


My general lack in faith in humanity, though I don't know if it would contribute, I'm putting it in for good measure. Basically, we're consuming too much and not giving much back. I feel that no one's really putting enough effort into changing it. Maybe not many are aware, or simply don't care. A recent grim sign of ignorance and perhaps laziness is the aftermath of Live Earth at the London venue, as BBC mentioned. The floor was littered with plastic cups. Recycling bins were provided, for crying out loud! And people simply left the cleaning up for others to do. That's not how it's supposed to be done. Take responsibility.

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Desires and Depression

I lack direction. Actually, I believe many people lack direction.

I recall reading or hearing somewhere that many students, upon leaving the systems of education, have insufficient experience to get on with "real life". To put it one way, these people have knowledge, but no wisdom. They know many things but have no idea on how it can be immediately applied to something.

I don't know if that's relevant to what I'm thinking about at the moment, though.

Motivation. Desire. That's what drives people to do something. Their dreams and goals in life. Their hope for these dreams is what keeps them moving. I have many dreams and goals as well. But for some reason, it's not really driving me at all. Why?

I hold the belief that I am feeling depressed. Perhaps it is a major form. I don't know how long I've been like that. I hold many dreams, yet I am unable to make myself follow them.

For some time I had decided that in order to somehow recover, I should start exploring. I really want to go out into the world and explore. Broaden my horizons, so to speak. Go to another country and immerse in the culture, relax. Killing two birds with one stone, one of my dreams is to actually explore Japan and do that stuff. Perhaps I can think more clearly. Maybe understand the meaning of.. something. Like how Takemoto went on that journey of self-realisation in Honey and Clover.

So, if that's the case, why am I not doing that either?

Maybe it's because I had two great chances at doing that and lost them. That's definitely going to make anyone depressed.

Every other year there's this trip my school holds and it's basically a two week trip around Japan. We see places, enter a school and see their processes. On each even year it's the other way around. Their school students coming here. Mainly it's for students learning the Japanese language. I had a chance three years ago but somehow never got to it. Something about my age and money being the root cause of not going. "Maybe when I'm older", I think. I didn't even bother signing up last year because I was under the impression that I had to study Japanese, but I found out a friend went nonetheless. I felt very bitter. I missed out on not one, but two chances of going with maybe only a dozen other classmates on a fun, unique experience. It would feel very different if I went independantly, or even next year if I end up repeating.

Right this moment, I need to figure out what I really want. And do it.

This is quite a bad situation I'm in. I'm near the end of high school, feeling depressed and with no drive, unable to really feel like doing very much. The cause of that is probably due to my feeling of lack of direction. I'm probably not alone here, but the severity likely varies.

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Nintendo DS Connection Tour 07 - QLD Day 3 + Roundup

I need to stop procrastinating. It's been a week since I posted about Day 2. As a result, very long post! I only made brief posts before. Still, in the end I didn't get as many pictures and information as I would've liked.

Instead of Carindale it was at Garden City today. Not a very good location, since it can get a bit cramped compared to the very roomy centre court of Carindale. Not only that, but there aren't any levels. The main platform was a temporary thing and only elevated around 10 centimetres. Due to the number of people it became quite difficult to get clear images. I ended up arriving at 11:30-ish so I didn't grab a lanyard.

After going to what's essentially an identical event three days in a row gets pretty boring.. Not only that, but I don't know much about Pokemon anymore. But the aspiring Photographer/Journalist in me made me go anyway. Or maybe I'm just too much of a nerd.


I only managed to get a single clear photo of the cosplay winner. A kid in a Jigglypuff suit. Dawn reappears again.. Today had the most cosplayers, but the other half aren't seen here. They can be seen in some other photos but they're all blurry.


The final 8 today. The winner is the guy in Orange, named Sylar. A few other people also reappear. The blinking guy on the far left is the runner up. Apparently he's following Nintendo around Australia and competing in everything. Dedicated, yet somehow crazy as well.

Extra details/pictures of previous days and roundup after the jump.

About the Touch! Generations stuff, each day they held a competition between 4 adults, for a chance to win the unreleased More Brain Training. They competed using, not surprisingly, More Brain Training. On the Day 2 I felt a sorry for two of the adults competing. Due to Wi-fi interference (too many people trading etc.) the DS Download Play actually failed due to lag, and only a few people noticed that it was a 2 player game. Due to time, there wasn't time for a rematch.

Something amusing, only the upper screen on the Big DS Lite was connected to the Dev System. The lower screen was an endless repeat of the Title screen sequence for either Pokemon Pearl or Diamond. This is very clearly evident in the Brain Training competition, where the output was simply set to a split screen. The edges were cut off as a result.

I expected the while thing to spin, demonstrating the position to hold the DS. That would have been a spectacular sight. I guess they were just savig money by using the same thing again.

The Touch Generations table also had these little pamphlet booklet thingys. The front and back of it was the image of a DS lite. They came in all the currently available colours in Australia, White, Light Blue, Black, and Pink. I only grabbed a white one, though.


They just contain info on the Touch Generations Games.

The pamphlet thingy, open.

Several dozen DSes using Wi-fi in a small area definitely kills latency. It's happened every time I come to these things. In fact, in Day 3 my friend Matt had to do a rematch because of a disconnection. Since the Pokemon were already known, he quickly lost.

Something else amusing was the use of a projector showing Promotional Wii videos. It was shown on an unusual looking curtain made of white string. It was very hard to see, and was left in the corner on Carindale. Everyone ignored it.


I should also probably show this photo of the Jam Sessions main menu. I'm kicking myself for missing out on so many shots. Everyone who tried playing it was very confused on what to do. I felt relieved when I saw one other person taking out headphones for this game. I wasn't alone.


Ratatouille had this Cooking Minigame with it, and using the stylus to do various things. I didn't really look at it much.

My last things to show are the things I obtained. The lanyard tag was a large circular thing. The image used was a Pokeball, and it changed each day. The text on top was the same, just the background image.

From left to right, it's the images for Day 1 to 3. (For day three I didn't obtain a lanyard)

The free gift you get for showing the SMS message you obtain from registering was a keyring.

Double sided with the Pokemon Diamond cover on some side and Pearl on the other, along with the Connection Tour logo.

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Nintendo DS Connection Tour 07 - QLD Day 2

Same time, same place. A little more crowded but the area was still spacey. The winner today is ButtonBasher, another member from TEC. I also had the chance to play Jam Sessions a bit more, since I had my headphones.

Also, a witnessed fair amount of stuff being damaged. Not the DS touch screens and such, but the furniture. The signs on the signposts were easily knocked off, and they were low in the first place. Someone also tripped over and broke part of the temporary fencing. One of the posts for a temporary fence was also broken, the belt winding mechanism was broken.


The final 8 for today. More diverse range of people, as you can see. However, the man on the far left was a dummy for his son. ButtonBasher is the man next to him. He was beaten early on yesterday by a hacker, so he really deserved it.

Earlier I discovered that a friend of mine has using hacked Pokemon to win. He didn't have them yesterday, and for some reason all the stats reverted to normal eventually, so he made it to only the second round. I noticed it upon the sight of his Seaking with 500hp. obviously, the moveset is still modified. Apparently he didn't do them himself.


More cosplayers today, though I'm disappointed that May and Ash wore the same clothing as the last tour. (They were there too.) Dawn apparently forgot her second costume, so she wore it again. Koga was the one who won.

Jam Sessions
Basically the entire game is just strumming chords. There's no BGM, and the songs included are just directions on chords and timing for the bass guitar for those songs. You can record your music, and maybe use the mic, but it was too noisy to try. It's more of a novelty than anything else, I don't know much about songs so I don't know any of them.

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